Losing my grip on my direction, commitment, and aspirations.
All that was in my head when I was a college kid, it was all about human rights, NKHR. Counting down to the day I return to my home country to reach across the DMZ, a no man zone that symbolizes the dead war kept alive by the dirty politics that corrupt the peninsula, and impact the livelihood of brothers, relatives, and kinsmen villainized and villified by the anachronistic redscare that still plagues South Korea.
Been here for a year. Ready to serve - a progressive stride to what I thought I knew for myself 3-4 years from now: Serve. Grad School. Human Rights Activism. Reform. Foundations for Reunification.
But goddamn, shit is so fucked up - way beyond what I could have imagined, even beyond what I can comprehend, even now.
It’s 2012. 2013 knocking at the door. And we here. Where Russia was. Where Iran was. Where India was. Where Tajikistan was. Where we fucking were in 1919 through 1943. We still here… Hallyu Way Movement, Psy’s Gangnam style, Samsung global expansion, blahblahblah. “The Korean way is the Worldly way” now?
Stop please. All this ubiquitous bullshit that clogs this generation’s mind is just too much. It’s got me tripping too. Chasing money and worrying bout myself more now. Is this just life, growing up after the college days when we were allowed to submerge ourselves into idealism? Or am I just another apple in the basket sitting next to all the other rotten apples.